In his late teens and early twenties, my dad was a professional drummer.

 

      He studied with a few teachers but was mostly self-taught. His obsession with music took off quickly; so much so that his parents forced him to move out of the house due to the constant pitter-patter-boom-crash coming out of their basement. Dad rose to the top of the Milwaukee drum scene and was playing with the top bands six night per week. Needless to say, the economy, local music scene, and life in general were different back then.

       

       My dad became well-acquainted with some of the premiere players in the field and was their go-to drummer. After a few years he decided to pursue a different life: he received a bachelor’s in science in aquatic biology, and a law degree from the University of Montana. He continued playing drums, but with different collections of musicians—ones that had day jobs and more balance in their lives. So, why did he change careers? According to him, “…Because I couldn’t stand the people.” I find this somewhat hilarious, because my parents have always instilled in me that I must be kind to everyone, be easy to work with, and be patient with others. Yet, here my dad is, explaining that he gave up on one of his dreams because the people were too difficult.

       

     I used to think that my dad overreacted to the whole dramatic musician vibe (see the irony?), but after my own experiences working with artists, I can see why this would drive someone mad.

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     There is something maddening but yet completely inspiring about working with creative people.

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They are overly obsessed with details.

They are self-absorbed.

They dwell too much on other people's opinions. 

They are impatient.

They demand perfection.

They worry about their reputations.

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     And yet...

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They are the ones that teach us to dream, to explore new ideas.

They motivate us to work harder.

They show us the importance of paying attention to the little things.

They expose us to beauty.

They show us how to view the world differently.

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__________

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         My dad and I have a lot in common in this regard. I, too, have been mistreated by others in the music profession. I have had teachers doubt my abilities. I have lost opportunities due to favoritism. I have witnessed the often psychotic nature of musicians. And yet, despite all of this, my dad and I continue to work with other creative minds. Why? Because we love the music.

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           There is something about music that, when performed with complete vulnerability, transcends arguments and drama. 

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           It's funny how this works. When musicians allow themselves to connect to their emotions, they are able to maintain healthy relationships with their collaborators. That being said, there are very few who are able to do this. You see, this requires a musician to accept his or her limitations as an artist, and to put aside their egos. For many people, their egos are what hold them together when they feel like everything is falling apart. Nobody wants to let go of this security. 

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              However, if you can rise to this level of humility and confidence (and I mean REAL strength in yourself), you'll learn a new way of making music--one that revolves around freedom, expression, collaboration, and respect. After that, it is up to fellow musicians to do the same.